Facebook Comment Gets Teen Fired

CNN reports on a teen who was fired from her job for writing a comment on Facebook that she was bored on the job.

I Quit My Job. Can I Erase a Bad Job Reference?

The job market is turbulent. Employers and employees are stressed, and it's showing in their professional -- and unprofessional -- behaviors. Unfortunately, it's often the job seeker who suffers the most, ending up with a bad job reference when employer and employee part company. Can you erase bad job references from your record? That's what the following job seeker would like to do. Continue reading...

The Pink Slip Blues

If you've recently been slapped with a pink slip, what's your first step to recovery? It may depend on how urgently you need a new job. If you're strapped for cash, you'll have to start looking for new work right away. If you have money stowed away (enough to cover at least eight month's worth of living expenses), consider taking some time off to work through the shock and awe of having lost your job.

Whether you jump into job-hunt mode right away or take a break, you need to deal with the emotional side of having had your job terminated.

You Got Fired
If you were fired from your job, come to grips with why you were asked to leave and figure out how you can avoid a repeat performance on your next job. These questions may help:

• Was the job description above or below your qualifications? Being over- or under-qualified for a job can cause poor performance. Recognizing this may help you find a more suitable job this time around.
• Was the company culture not a good fit for you? It's hard to excel if you're in an environment that doesn't match your personality (for example, formal or casual) or lifestyle (for example, political or religious). Identify what company culture brings out the best in you, and find employers with that mindset.
• Was there someone or something that caused your departure (for example, a disagreeable boss or unfair employment practice)? What role, if any, did you play in the situation? Get advice from a job counselor or trusted friend to understand how to prevent such a thing from happening again.

Understanding and accepting your job termination will help you move on to a new job – one that you'll enjoy and thrive at. It will also help you talk more easily about your last job in a job interview. (Yes, it'll probably come up in a job interview, so it's best to be prepared.)

The Big Layoff
If you got laid off from your job, research what caused the layoff so you can speak knowledgably about it to recruiters and hiring managers. Here are some things that might be helpful to know:

• How many employees were laid off
• How many rounds of layoffs there have been in the last five years
• The reason the company gave you, the public, and its shareholders for the layoffs
• Whether the company is closing completely or might get turned around
• Why you think you were chosen to be laid off. This is a hard one, but once you understand this to the best of your ability, you'll likely see it wasn't your fault. This realization will help you move on with greater self-esteem.

If you're really down and out, you may need to get professional help. Consider asking a therapist, career counselor, or religious leader for a few sessions to discuss your situation. Also, try to find a support group (in-person or online) where you can work through the grief of your job loss with others who are in the same boat.

For more on having been laid off or fired from your job, read these posts:

Explaining a Job Termination
Fired But Don’t Know Why
Job Search Resilience
Gaps and Layoffs and Resumes, Oh My!

Fired for Insubordination

Here's a question from a Job Lounger, followed by two answers from career counselor friends of mine.

Question
I was recently fired from a company where I worked for many years. During that time I had incidences in which complaints were brought against me for being rude to fellow employees. I have been working on my behavior issues and my latest review stated my improvement in that area. My work itself has never been questioned as I have a very strong work ethic and have performed well.

The firing occurred when I felt pressured by two co-workers to do something I felt was highly unethical and counter to company policy. They were acting on behalf of a supervisor and instead of going straight to the supervisor I got entangled in an argument with my two co-workers. I didn't handle it very well, and became emotional.

I was fired for insubordination as I had been accused of swearing at my co-workers and my supervisor. I explained that I was not swearing at anyone... but at the situation itself. The human resources person brought up my past issues.

How do I answer getting fired in a job interview? I'm trying to craft an answer that is honest, and only says I was pressured to do something unethical, without giving too much detail -- just explain I found myself in a verbal sparring match with two co-workers and didn't handle it as well as I should have, and have learned from that. If they want more detail I will give them more, but I want to place an emphasis on taking responsibility and moving on.

Answer
by Sue Aiken, TSA Career Coach

Why is it necessary to discuss being fired at all? Are you going to bring it up? I hope not.

If asked why you left it's best to say there was a disagreement, which resulted in you being let go. Then go on to focus on all the good work you did at that company. Don't provide any more details or focus on any incidents of your own bad behavior. That's a mine field best left alone.

You might also mention that you have learned that the right work environment enables you to do your best work. That could lead to a well thought out question from you about the work setting where you are interviewing. For example: How is work performance reviewed or how will I know I am meeting the expectations of the company?

Years ago I heard a speaker talk about the red flags we all bring to interviews. "I'm too old, too young, too experienced, too inexperienced, been fired or unemployed over a year." The speaker reminded us to always turn those red flags into positive experiences, and never dwell on the negative. Take responsibility when appropriate but mostly, move the conversation forward... not backwards.

Answer
by Maureen Nelson, M.A., Career Counselor, Writer, Oakland PIC One Stop Career Center, EastBayWorks

Keep it short and sweet: "I was asked to do something unethical and I was let go when I refused." Then move on to what you can bring to the new position you're seeking.

Don't say anything about getting into an argument with co-workers. Don't say anything along the lines of "getting emotional" or "didn't handle it well." Give the impression that you were acting coolly, calmly and with the utmost professionalism. You don't even need to say who asked you to do the unethical thing. Share what the unethical thing was only if pressed and only if any reasonable person would have refused to do the same thing.

I had a co-worker whose work was atrocious and I depended on his output. His mistakes were negatively impacting our customers as well as making it difficult to get my job done. He had a snarky attitude and attention span of a goldfish -- yet was tasked with highly detailed work at the same time he was expected to play receptionist. For years, I attempted to fix things by going directly to him, then to my boss, and finally to a senior person whom we both respected.

Management was unresponsive (though they admitted there was a problem and that my co-worker's work was terrible). Desperate, I suggested a three-way meeting with my co-worker and the senior person to try to find a way for us to work better together. My co-worker agreed, then he changed his mind and informed the president of my planned meeting. I was fired for insubordination.

I survived that firing, and you can too. Just keep the explanation short and sweet. Give very little detail and admit no fault. Then immediately focus on the value you bring to the new position. If it seems like the employer's not buying it, admit a past mistake that you have learned from and will never do again.

Meanwhile, have you considered taking an anger management class?

Layoffs: No One is Indispensable

In this video, Tinesha warns that everyone should have a Plan A, B, and C in the event they get laid off. No one is indispensable in today's work world, even if they've been working at the same company for many years. In fact, she says, you may be asked to train a new person, who will ultimately take your place at the company.

Mystery Shopping Job Scams

Created by the Better Business Bureau (BBB) in Lexington, KY, this video explains a scam that steals money from job seekers' bank accounts. Here's how it works:

1. A fake company offers to hire you to be a mystery shopper or customer service evaluator.
2. Once "hired" you receive a cashiers check for hundreds or even thousands of dollars.
3. You're told to deposit the check into your bank account and then wire cash to your "employer" to test a client's wiring service.
4. The check looks so real it fools your bank, which accepts it for deposit into your account. But the check is fake and it bounces, leaving you owing the bank all the money you wired your "employer."

Not all mystery shopping jobs are scams, but the BBB recommends you not sign up with any that ask you to wire money or pay an upfront fee.

How to Avoid a Layoff

This video by Vault.com is a good overview of how people (in New York City) are responding to our current economic down-turn. Here's a point I especially liked:

If you think your company might be heading for a round of lay-offs, sit down with your manager and ask what project is most important to the company right now. Then try to get involved in that project as your primary responsibility. If you're working on something that's of secondary importance to the survival of the company, you're more likely to get laid off. If you're working on a primary project, you're less apt to be sent packing.

Mom with Bad Job Reference

Question
My husband recently relocated us to South Carolina from Florida. We had just had a new baby, and I began work with a large law firm as a legal secretary/floater, which required me to have oncall hours one weekend per month, and one day per week. Since starting the job 15 months ago it has gone to 2-3 nights a week with some nights ending at midnight or later. My husband is a 3rd shift officer and we have two small children so I really can't work past 9 pm any longer.

I have also been subjected to yelling and cursing from other secretaries and it has escalated to a point where this job just doesn’t work for me.

I emailed my boss (who was portraying herself as a good friend, even calling me outside of work and always acting concerned about my family life and well being) and told her something along the lines of, "This really doesn’t seem to be working so well. The oncall hours are too much and I can't handle being cursed and yelled at. I think I need to start looking for another job." She replied “I want you to be happy and I will support you in any way I can.” I also told her I was not giving notice of resignation, and that I'd like to stay at the job until I found another one.

Weeks went by and I got called into the HR manager’s office. I was told “things just aren’t working out and we need to agree your last day with the firm will be the 30th” (30 days from the day of the meeting). I was shocked. I had been told what a great team player I was, how helpful, and professional, etc. I asked my boss, “Am I fired or what?” She replied, "No, I don’t think we look at it that way; it just isn’t a good fit anymore." A week later I inquired as to whether I will be paid for my remaining vacation time, as the manual states. I was told, "No." So, I started using up my sick time, and I put in a request for vacation time, which didn't get approved.

I went about my interviews, but I didn't get any calls after I submitted my references. I went to a staffing agency, which requested a letter of recommendation. I called my boss to ask for one, and she said, "I can’t give you one in a situation like this. All inquires have to go through the HR manager.” So, I emailed the HR manager, requesting a letter of reference.

Then the emails started coming, “Since we mutually agreed you would be leaving…”. I wrote back, “I never mutually agreed to anything. I told you that I was going to start looking for another job because of the oncall hours and constantly being yelled at by co-workers. But I never resigned or said I was giving notice, and I didn’t set the date of the 30th -- you did.” I don't want them to screw me out of unemployment, saying I “mutually agreed” to leave, especially when the job market is the worst in 22 years and I have 2 small children to care for.

Can you help me make some sense of all this? I am so worried.

Answer
by Garla Smith, Smart Moms®, LLC, smart-moms.net and smart-moms-online.com

Dear Mom with Bad Reference,
This is indeed a tough time for you. There are a couple of issues that I can address that may be motivating.

The first and foremost issue at hand is how do you get a job when you may not have a strong reference at your previous employer? I think the first course of action would be to find out exactly what the employer is saying about you. By law, the employer can legally only verify job title and dates of service. They have the option to decline to answer the questions concerning eligibility for re-employment, verification of duties and others. Because this is a law firm, I suspect they are providing references by the book. What may be a challenge for you is that they have a tone in their voice or are unwilling to give enough information to make the employer feel comfortable about hiring you.

As you already know, it is difficult for you to get a truthful answer about what is being said. However, you can hire someone to verify your references. There are professional agencies such as Allison and Taylor that can check your references. For instance, if you learn that the employer only answers questions about job title and dates of service in a very brief manner, you can alert your prospective employer that this is their policy so it will not be construed as a bad reference. If you learn that the employer has a particular tone (signifying displeasure) while answering the questions, this information may be admissible in court. Is there one peer (at the law firm) that would serve as a personal reference? You could provide a cell number or home phone and instruct the prospective employer that she can discuss your relationship but it is best to reach him/her after work hours. Make sure to speak with this reference about how you would like them to address your departure as well as those relevant skills. Did you do any volunteer work during this period or have another part-time job? Perhaps this avenue can provide a positive and talkative reference who can speak about your relevant skills.

Always handle things in a professional manner no matter what. When you are speaking to a prospective employer do not bad mouth the prior employer. It is always received as a bad sign, always. Don’t blame, don’t bad mouth, don’t appear to be the victim. You should tell them the truth of why you left but in a non-blaming fashion. It may be presented something like, ”I resigned from that position because they needed someone to support them after-hours and I was unable to do that with a new born baby...” Keep it brief, professional and never bad mouth the employer.

For the future, it is important to put things in writing. For instance, when you begin to feel you were being mislead about the hours and what was communicated, putting it in writing (via email) to your supervisor lets them know you are serious about that concern. The correspondence also helps to legally protect you. If you decide to correspond via email simply turn on the read-receipt option (via Outlook). Make sure you print out the email and file for your records. Any kind of abuse, especially verbal, should be documented to someone above you to alert them about what is going on. If all else fails, you have a paper trail if you need to file a law suit or proof to ensure you secure unemployment.

You may still have some recourse for receiving vacation pay. Some states require that employers pay remaining vacation time. Check these sites for rules and regulations about SC Labor and Employment Laws Link 1 and Link 2. Save your existing pay stubs and policy manual for documentation. Research to find a lawyer or someone familiar with employment laws to provide their professional opinion as to whether you have a case.

You can obtain a job after experiencing a challenging time with an employer. Commitment to finding a new job, resolve to not settle for unemployment, research to determine your rights and best practices will all help you eventually land another job. Best of luck!

Working with a Chronic Disability

Managing a chronic disability and holding down a job isn't easy. I recently came across an article, Life, Wired by Bridget Murray Law, in Momentum magazine, about how Assistive Technology(AT) can help people with Multiple Sclerosis (MS). Here's an excerpt from a sidebar in that article:

AT to Keep Your Job
The right technology may help you keep your job: In the MS Technology Collaborative survey of some 2,400 people with MS, 40% said AT was helping them stay employed.

What are the most requested MS-related job accommodations? Flexible scheduling and AT to support screen reading, typing, and moving the mouse, said Eddie Whidden, MA, senior consultant at the Job Accommodation Network (JAN ), a free federally supported consulting service designed to help people with disabilities stay employed or become employable. JAN is at jan.wvu.edu.

Whidden spends his day at JAN helping people figure out which accommodations will serve them best, and which ones they might request from an employer under the Americans with Disabilities Act.

To read the rest of this sidebar, open the article (which is a PDF you can view on your screen) and scroll to page 31.

The sidebar in this post is reprinted here with permission from the publications division of the National Multiple Sclerosis Society.

Charged for Physical After Quitting Job

Question
I took a job at a company in January as a security system technician. I have nine years in this field, so I know what I'm doing. I accepted this job on the premise that I would be given plenty of overtime and a pay raise after 60 days. There were also two other companies that I was accepted to. I took the drug test, physical, and they did the background check, then I began work.

Well, there was no raise, even after repeated visits directly to the owner's office. On top of that, I was lucky to get eight hours a day, let alone any overtime. The company had a terribly slow workload, and I was never made aware of this.

Naturally, I began looking for a more lucrative job, which I found in June. I didn't work out a notice, which is actually pretty common in the security business. When I received my final pay stub in the mail, I found out that they had deducted $145.00 for the physical that I was required to have prior to employment. Nowhere did I sign any document stating that I was financially responsible for a mandatory physical, nor was I ever told that I would have to pay for it if I ever quit my job.

My basic question is: can they do this legally, and if not, what are my next steps? I talked to a former employee who had over $500 held from his final check, listed on his stub as 'insurance', which was deducted from every check in the first place. I want to know what these guys are up to, and if there's anything I can do to get my money. Thanks, and I look forward to your reply.
Ed

Answer
by Alexander Kjerulf, Chief Happiness Officer

Dear Ed
I agree totally with you that this company has treated you unfairly, and I commend you for going out and finding yourself a better job. That's the way to do it: Fix it where you are or move on to a better place.

As for the $145, here's my advice to you: Ask the company if this is a mistake, and if so, ask for your money back.

And here's the crucial part: If they refuse, just let it go! I have no idea whether what they've done is legal or not, but I can tell you that the fight to get that money back may drag out and cause you a lot of frustration. It's not worth it over a piddling $145.

You could, of course, take a stand over the principle of it, but in my experience, you'd do better to just forget about it, move on and enjoy your new job.

This advice relies on one of those skills we don't often focus on or learn: The skill of letting go. Without this skill, we're forced to fight every battle, to address every injustice, and to right every wrong ever done us, which can get pretty exhausting in the end.

Fired by a Bad Boss

Question
I was fired from my job. I worked for a boss who made me quit the college classes I was taking online to earn my degree on my own time. He wanted me to concentrate on my job and told me that if I didn’t quit taking these courses I was taking …there was the door. He said if I wanted to succeed in this business (I worked as an admin) I would have to do what he said and be a team player. When I told him that I had no problem taking classes that he wanted me to take to help me understand our business better but I still wanted to pursue my degree as I didn’t have one and it was a personal goal I wanted to achieve. He told me the only reason I wanted a degree was to show it off. I quit my education per his request.

I also got yelled at on an occasion when other people heard. I got reprimanded because I was in the ladies’ room once when he tried to call my company cell phone and I didn’t answer it (as I left it at my desk when I went to the ladies’ room). He was in the parking lot getting to work when he must have called me to check his calendar for something. He was at his desk by the time I walked back from the ladies’ room (that is how quick it was as I was only gone for maybe 3 minutes} and he yelled at me for not having my cell phone in the bathroom with me to answer his calls as he told me I am to be available to him 24 hrs. a day 365 days a year at all times including when I am in the bathroom. His words exactly.

When I went on my honeymoon (I got married when I worked there) I had to call in everyday to see what was going on. He has jokingly (I use that term loosely) called me names such as “dummy” and has insinuated that I am bulimic when I AM NOT when I don’t eat lunch (because I lose my appetite working for him).

Another admin position within the company opened up and the manager of that dept. came to me as they thought I might be interested in the position, which I was. Company rules are you can inquire about a job without your manager’s approval…once you want to go for it, you then tell your manager and go through the interview process, etc. After the manager of the open position came to me about the job we both went to HR. HR asked me why I wanted to leave my current position, and did I want to pursue this new position. I told her yes, I was interested but I didn’t know what the salary was in the new position. If it was much lower I didn’t want to go for it. HR agreed with me and told me to wait on telling my current boss about wanting to go for this open position until I knew what the salary was. (I also want to add that I did not bad mouth my boss in anyway to HR--I just said I wanted a change in my career as I had experience in the new admin position from a previous job years ago and it was something I would love to do.)

Well here is where things went wrong….. 2 weeks later the manager of the open position came to me (instead of going to HR) and told me they would match my salary and offered me the job. The person in HR I was dealing with was on vacation so I had to wait 2 days before talking to her to tell her what happened. When I did she immediately told me this wasn’t supposed to happen this way. (Meaning the manager of the open position should have never come to me to offer me the job without going through HR). After talking to her we both agreed I had to tell my current boss but advised me to tell a little white lie -- that I was “applying” for another position within the company and not that I was offered the job. So I did. Well he let me go 2 days after I told him as he was shocked that I was leaving him and told me to go home, clear my head and clean my house. I had a tentative start date of 2 weeks to begin the new position within the company. Well within that time my old boss (who is also a Partner in the firm) found out that the proper procedure was not followed and I was let go with a very nice severance package from HR. The person in HR I dealt with and the hiring manager in the new position got in trouble but still have their jobs.

Now I have to start applying to new jobs and have no idea what to tell a new employer as to why I was let go. The old employer where I got fired agreed to tell any prospective employer that I resigned and not that I got fired. I don’t know if I could trust their word but sort of believe they would say that…I hope. I plan on signing up for college classes online again for next semester and thought about telling a new employer that I left my last job because I was unable to pursue my education in my current position. Any advice please?

Thank you!
Jackie

Answer
by Honey Smith, Professional Life Coach

First, I must say: Congratulations on getting out from under your controlling and destructive boss.

Moreover, though it must have stung, being fired from the company of which he was partner was likely a blessing in disguise. Poor communication and highly inappropriate behavior on the part of upper management could easily have continued to cause you serious headaches and further erode your self-respect.

You wrote that the "old employer" would refer to your “resignation” rather than “firing.” Did you mean the HR person you dealt with originally? Given that she got in trouble for how your case was handled to begin with, to what extent will she stick with her promise to say you resigned? Is there some way to get such testimony on paper, as in a general letter of reference that will commit her to abide by this promise?

I also want to applaud your desire to further your education. It's not easy when you are working full time. As you look for the next position, please consider the following:

Who will really value your commitment to bettering yourself? What type of organization, industry and management will see your ambition as an asset and not a threat?

It sounds from what you wrote that you are a dedicated employee and are torn between your educational goals and your desire to do the best possible job at work. Your first boss no doubt saw how conscientious you were and sought to take advantage of this wonderful quality.

So, as you look for the next job, take some time to step back and consider what your boundaries will be. Are you clear on how much you can devote to your job and your studies, respectively? Are you being realistic about your goals and the time-frame for accomplishing them? What are your priorities and where might you compromise, if need be? Importantly, how will you include your husband in this decision-making process?

Honey Smith, Ed.M., is a Professional Life Coach who helps job seekers fast forward their careers, master life transitions and fulfill their potential.

Boss’s Personal Life is Ruining my Job

Question
I'm in a very big dilemma and request absolute anonymity due to the fact that there is actually a publication ban on the ongoing legal matter with my boss.

My situation is this: I'm an Executive Assistant to a Vice President of a high profile public company. We have worked together for six years and although we get along great, he is very moody and we have had the odd run-in over the years. About a year ago he confided in me that his ex-partner (he's gay) and he had split up and that he sensed things were going to get nasty. Well, they got nasty all right. My boss has a child through a mutual friend of his and his ex-partner. The ex-partner is going after joint custody of the child and has also been blackmailing my boss by threatening to expose him in the company, the papers, etc that he is gay.

I have tried to be supportive, but feel that I've been put in a position whereby I can't say no to my boss. I have been asked to attend court with him, accompany him on the drop-offs and pick-ups of his child when the other party gets visitation, field calls from his ex-partner, photocopy legal documents well into the evening hours, etc. It has made it difficult to focus on my own job and, furthermore, he is taking all of his stress out on me. He snaps at me constantly, slams the door and doesn't talk to me for days on end. I don't feel I can go to our Human Resources department because I don't want to reveal too much of what is going on, although everyone realizes something is going on because my boss, usually a very well-dressed individual, has let himself go, doesn't focus in meetings, etc. The long and short is that no one knows he's gay let alone what is going on in his personal life.

How do I handle this? I've tried to talk to him about the way he treats me and he just snaps at me that it's in my head, which it clearly isn't. I fear he's going to fire me and I would like to know if what he has put me through in the past year will pull any weight as far as getting a good severance package. I know that he can't fire me without cause, but I think what he's trying to do is make me miserable so I'll quit because he fears that I know too much now and doesn't want to risk keeping me. Do I quit or do I tough it out and wait to see what he does? If I do quit, should I quit due to what he's put me through the last year and consult a lawyer?
Help!
--- Anonymous

Answer
by Jeanne Knight, JCTC, CCMC, Career and Job Search Coach

How difficult it must be for you to watch your boss’s behavior change before your eyes. It sounds like you had a nice relationship with him until his personal life soured, and then his behavior changed and he’s been taking his stress out on you. You are definitely in a tough spot and I’m afraid to say there’s no easy solution. The fact that you have tried talking to your boss and he has not validated your feelings or apologized for his behavior tells me that the situation will not change anytime in the near future. This means you have just a few choices.

One option is to try talking to him again, but to wait until a time when he appears calm and rational. Timing is everything, and picking a time when he seems relaxed, in an amicable mood, and open to a professional conversation will increase your chances of him truly hearing how difficult the situation is for you. You don’t want to speak to him in an accusing manner, for that will only cause him to be defensive. Instead, share with him how badly you feel for what he is going through and then explain that there have been times when you have felt uncomfortable with the interactions between the two of you and that you miss the way the two of you interacted in the past. Be very specific about what you’d like changed, for example, saying something like, “I understand how stressful your situation must be for you, but sometimes I feel that you snap at me for no reason and I find that really uncomfortable. I’m happy to talk anytime you’d like, but I really need to not be snapped at in order to get my work done.”

If talking to him doesn’t seem feasible, then you need to decide if this is a job you want to stay in, as I suspect his behavior will not change, which could put your job at risk. It’s always best to leave a job before being terminated, even if severance is part of the termination package. Leaving on your own gives you a sense of empowerment that can be lost if you leave because you’ve been asked to.

If he does fire you, then getting a severance package may be difficult because you’ve not made Human Resources aware of the difficulty of your situation. They will have a tendency to hear only his side of the story, and by then it may be too late to share your side and receive severance. So I would seriously consider moving on to a situation that is interesting and challenging, with a manager who treats you professionally and with the respect you deserve.

This is the one aspect of the situation that you have control over, so I urge you to take advantage of that. Update your resume so that it reflects your greatest skills, experience and accomplishments, and then start applying to positions you would find interesting. Do that now while you’re still employed and your self-esteem is still intact. If asked why you’re leaving, you can simply state that you’ve been with your present employer for a long time and it’s time for a change… you’re seeking new challenges and growth opportunities in a different environment.

Since you can’t change your boss’s behavior, the best strategy is to take advantage of what you do have control of. Try talking to him again if that makes sense. Otherwise, your best bet may be to move on to a position that you feel comfortable in and can thrive at. Good luck to you!

Jeanne Knight is a certified Career Coach/Resume Expert who helps senior professionals and executives navigate career transitions. She offers career and job search coaching as well as resume writing services. She is also the creator of “10 Steps To Interviewing With Confidence”, a 60-minute DVD program that offers a step-by-step process for succeeding on interviews.

Susan Ireland’s Two Cents
Once you’ve found your next job, you’ll be in a good position to leave the one you currently have (and your boss and his problems). William Nichols says:

Though you may have fantasized about telling your present boss to take this job and, well, you know how the song goes, there is a right way and a wrong way to quit a joband just up and quitting in a bout of anger is definitely the wrong way. The right method of quitting a job means formally resigning from your position.

In his post, Proper Technique for Quitting a Job, Nichols goes on to explain exactly how to make the break.

Excuses for Missing Work Getting Wackier

Abridged: Koco.com
OKLAHOMA CITY, OK -- Have you ever called in sick when you're feeling fine? If so, you're in good company. A new survey by CareerBuilder finds 32% of workers have done just that in the last year. Many people are using sick days as "mental health days" to catch up on sleep or simply relax.

The amount of unexcused absences from the office is significant and can be indicative of employee dissatisfaction. So it's important to keep in mind that using sick days as vacation days can get you in trouble. Twenty-seven percent of hiring managers reported they have fired a worker for calling in sick without a legitimate reason. Employers have heard plenty of unusual excuses for not coming to work. Some excuses include:
• Poisoned by his mother-in-law.
• Feeling all the symptoms of his expecting wife.
• Employee was locked in a restroom stall.
• Employee broke their leg snowboarding.
• Employee's couldn't come into work because of house hold chores.
• Employee's mother was in jail.
• A skunk got into the employee's house and sprayed his uniforms.

This article appeared in the December 4, 2006 issue of The Career News, an e-newsletter. It is reprinted here with permission from The Career News.

For more yucks about taking time off from work, read Putting the ‘Work’ into Work/Life Balance.

Fired for “Porn” Site Browsing

Question
My wife is being terminated from her job of 13 years due to her accessing Myspace and Hoverspot during her lunch hour. Although she is permitted to use the Internet for personal use during her lunch hour, her company considers Myspace and Hoverspot "porn sites" due to explicit photos that may be on these sites.

Porn sites are actually blocked from access at her work, and there is no warning about these two sites being considered porn when you access them - or in the company's policy. She is a union employee, and her union is going to take the case to arbitration, but does she have a case? They've offered her 13 weeks severance pay and 6 months of benefits if she goes away quietly. I personally think she should fight it.

Any direction would be greatly appreciated.
---Matt

Answer
by Ronnie Ann, Work Coach

Hi Matt!
Boy this makes me mad! I really feel for your wife and you.

Assuming there is no other pertinent information, let’s look at the facts as stated:

• Internet browsing during lunch is OK.
• Certain sites that are not OK are blocked.
• The employer says Myspace and Hoverspot are not OK, yet they are NOT blocked.
• Your wife is being terminated without written notice of these sites being off limit.
• Your wife is also being terminated without any prior warning, usually necessary in union shops.

I’m not a lawyer - although I did consult with top management in a union shop – and what I say is only my opinion. That said, something is wrong with this picture. By all means, consider arbitration. But first, talk to the union and find out whether you think this union is strong enough to stand up to the employer. Ask them about similar cases and how they were resolved. Assuming they’ve won before (most union arbitration of this sort is to the employee’s benefit), I say go for it.

My instinct tells me there’s more going on here than just the Internet access, since there are many legitimate online-community/social-access sites like Myspace and Hoverspot. While these sites do allow people to post what they want - even things considered porn - the majority of users are basically nice folks just looking to meet interesting people with similar interests.

Have others in the company been warned away from these types of sites and/or been terminated for such access? Hard to believe your wife is the only one who ever went to one of these hugely popular sites. If you’re curious, I found a list of the Top 20 Social Networking Sites on Blog Blocker: The Blog - A Guide to the Hazards of Blog and Social Networking Websites. While caution is needed when using any social sites – especially for kids – these sites are not considered porn sites per se. Your wife would have had no reason to even think that way – and hence, no warning.

Considering how bizarre this all seems, I can’t help wondering whether the company was actually looking for a way to terminate your wife and this may simply have given them a convenient reason. The fact that she has 13 years raises some possible flags. Not sure if it applies in her case, but sometimes long-term employees are terminated before they get close to tenure points or because they are making a lot of money for their positions or simply because they are getting older. None of this is fair, but it happens. If any of this is at play, the union will not only bring it up…they will run with it!

In no way should your wife be punished for innocent access to something her employer never banned officially. What helps her case a lot is that they do have officially banned sites and the union can show that the two in question could easily have been added by the employer if they consider them dangerous. Otherwise, it’s a close cousin to entrapment, considering the popularity of these sites.

Assuming the union has been reasonably successful in such cases, I’d be sure to take advantage of arbitration. Even though there’s a chance the company would withdraw their offer should she lose, odds are they wouldn’t have made such a good offer if they had an airtight case. And given her years and union status, I would guess she is entitled to a decent package anyway. Not much downside here, and a lot to gain should she win. At the very least, she deserves to be cleansed of the parting image of “porn browser.” How dare they!

As I see it, she deserves her day in court – or in this case arbitration. I say go to the mat, Matt!

Good luck!


Learn about Hispanic Recruiting at LatPro.com.

Bad Boss, Bad Reference

Question
I am currently employed in a job where my boss is sure to give me a terrible reference due to the fact that we have had personality conflicts all along the way. I do not respect her or the vile things she has done to me and to other coworkers (I truly believe she is unbalanced, quite honestly----for one, she lies, without batting a lash, about the most outlandish things) and I am afraid that I will never get a good reference out of her.

Furthermore, she is the person to talk to about job references about me...no other manager/authority will intervene. The common remedy for this situation is usually: "Oh, by law, so-and-so will not give you a bad reference because she cannot say anything damning about you for fear of being sued." Trust me, this woman can put across her poison to any potential employer to let them know what she really thinks of me without getting herself into legal trouble. I've seen her knife others in a similar fashion.

I have just graduated from Howard University with a BA Degree in Arts Management and she is the most prominent obstacle to my escaping from this horrible situation and into a dream job.

I repeat, no good or neutral reference to be had from this woman. What possible remedy can there be for me??

Answer
by Alexander Kjerulf, Chief Happiness Officer

Oh man, that sucks! When a person is both messing up your work life and happens to be the gatekeeper preventing you from seeking new employment – that's a really tough situation.

Here's my advice: Get out of there anyway. Now. Today. Don't wait to find a new job, just quit.

I agree that this will make finding your next job more difficult – but this is unlikely to change any time soon. Her review will be just as vile in 6 months, 1 year or 5 years. Get out of Dodge now, while you still have some energy, sanity and optimism left.

Here are a few ideas when you're looking for your next job:
Can you get away with not mentioning your employment at this company? You're a recent graduate, after all. Maybe it won't look so strange on your resume to simply leave out this job.

Alternatively, can you get 3 or 4 references from other people in your current workplace? From other bosses, co-workers – possibly even customers. These should be glowingly positive. You can then use these references to offset her bad one.

Finally, you could simply explain the situation to future employers. Interpersonal conflicts are nothing new, and you're hardly the first person who doesn't get along with a boss. If you choose to do it this way, make sure to say nothing negative about your old boss. Not one word. Simply say that you didn't have great chemistry.

The important thing is for you to get away from her. The sooner the better!

Workplace Gone Sour… Time to Quit

Question
I faced lots of problems in my last job, As I came from a different country, the people I worked with used to laugh at my accent and took advantage of my being nice to them. I was always asked to do many tasks that were not in my job description. The situation was so unfair and I was so upset I left the job and came home.

Now I am looking for work, but the main problem I am facing is that employers ask the reason for leaving my last job. I tried to be honest a few times but it didn't work so I have to be smart and reply tactfully.

What is the best answer in this situation?
Thanks
D.
U.K

Answer
by Richard Yadon, CPC, President/CEO, HealthCareerProfessionals

Your reason for your departure is completely rational and understandable. No one wants to, or should, work in a disrespectful and hostile environment. If you tried to resolve the problems through the correct channels and nothing changed, you were probably correct to leave.

Although your reason for leaving is understandable, how you explain it to prospective employers will make all the difference in their response. For instance, if you say something like, "Everyone at my last job ridiculed me, made fun of my accent, and treated me unfairly." it can sound like you have an "everyone's against me" attitude. While the statement may be true, few employers are going to believe that everyone was after you.

When asked why you left your last job, say something like this:

"Mr. /Ms. Prospective employer (use their real name, of course), have you ever worked in a place where a few unhappy and bitter people spoiled the atmosphere for everyone else? That was the situation at my last place of employment. After a time they made it such an unpleasant place to be, I didn’t want to be around them for 8 to 10 hours a day. So I made the decision to find a more positive place to work, which is why I'm so excited about the opportunity to work with you."

You'll want to rework this to fit your personality. The point is to come across with as someone who has a positive outlook and confidence in his personal values. Employers will respect this – at least the employer's you'd want to work for.

Susan Ireland's Two Cents
The Big Dip: Ten Questions with Seth Godin is an interview by Guy Kawasaki about “the topics of perseverance and quitting.” The interview is not specifically about careers, but I think this brief excerpt is relevant to our post:

Question: Other than hindsight, how does someone know when it’s time to quit?
Answer: It’s time to quit when you secretly realize you’ve been settling for mediocrity all along. It’s time to quit when the things you’re measuring aren’t improving, and you can’t find anything better to measure.

Accused of Conflict of Interest on the Job

Question
I work for a nonprofit. I also run a successful business, which is a well known company. I have been promoted by this company to Director with a car that I drive to my full-time job at the nonprofit. Everyone there knows I do my other business so every time something goes wrong at work, they bring up the other business as if to say I am doing that instead of what they pay me to do.

I have been written up once and have since watched the things I do to ensure that I do not do what I was accused of. Well, a situation came up with my supervisor that I thought was finished but she decided to write a memo to be given to the boss. I did not agree with it nor did I sign it. Should I write a rebuttal to prove my point or is it a lost cause?
-- Lost without a clue

Answer
by Marc Effron, VP, Talent Management, Avon Products

Hi Lost – The answer to your problem seems relatively straightforward. Your outside employment should not be relevant in this case, unless your employer has rules against co-employment (holding two jobs at the same time).

What seems to be missing from your full-time job are clear performance standards. Do you have a job description and/or performance goals for the year? If so, these should dictate how you and they evaluate your performance. If you are performing up to the expectations listed in those documents, anything you do outside of work is not relevant.

If you don’t have clear standards for your performance, it’s important that you quickly come to an agreement with your full-time employer about this. Ask your supervisor to provide you with a job description, performance goals/standards or both. If things are “going wrong” at work, you need to do this quickly.

Whether you write or don’t write a rebuttal is something you’ll need to decide. You might want to consider consulting an attorney who specializes in personnel issues before you do this.

I hope that helps and good luck!

Marc Effron is Vice President, Talent Management for Avon Products. He has authored two books (including Leading the Way) and numerous articles about leadership. He is a frequent speaker at industry events.

Susan Ireland’s Two Cents
In his post, How Are You Dealing with Workplace Conflict, Steve Roesler talks about three types of workplace conflict and what to do in each case. Here’s an excerpt I liked:

…ask [your boss] about your results. If you have a wrong perception of how you are doing, this is the time to get it on the table. If your boss tells you your results are good, then your boss will hopefully have an Aha! moment regarding your contributions.
The worst that can happen? You'll find out sooner, rather than later, that this isn't a place you want to be over the long run.

Job Lounger, do you have a question? Email (joblounge@aol.com) it to me and I’ll post your question and an expert’s answer here in The Job Lounge.

Why Don’t They Fire That Employee?

Question
I know someone who has worked for umpteen years. During those years this person has arrived to work late more times than not. The person says they just cannot make it on time no matter what. The company has even tried changing the hours, yet the person will still arrive late.

This person also took off three months of work when things went wrong at home. No, this person did not go out on personal leave, this person just called in sick everyday for three months.

When work slows down, and this person does not have enough to do in the afternoon, this person reads their paperback novel for the rest of the day. I asked, "Don't you get in trouble?" and the response was "They like me."

Anyone one else would have been fired. Please explain how this person keeps their job? I just do not get it.
-- Diane

Answer
by Ronnie Ann, Work Coach

Hi Diane!
I can understand how unfair that seems! While ideally I’d want to know a few more facts, I’ll do my best to give you some answers.

Let’s look at the issues you raise one by one:

Arrives late: While some jobs require a person to be on time with absolutely no give whatsoever, many places understand there’s more to a job than just punching in on the dot. In this case, it seems the person (let’s assume it’s a she for this answer) has a flexible employer. The fact that she continues to arrive late and still has the job could simply mean the company understands she has personal issues – possibly health problems or problems at home – and is still willing to cut her some slack as long as she gets the work done.

In her post Always Late for Work? Melissa Dylan suggests ways for negotiating an issue like this:

“If you really can’t make it in on time—and some people really, truly can’t, no matter how hard they try—sit down with your boss before she has a chance to approach you…If you show that you’re working on your weaknesses and indicate a willingness to make it up in other areas, it will be easier for your employer to accept tardiness.”

As long as you have something to contribute, a good company will work with you to resolve personal issues.

Reads paperback novel at work: From what you write, it seems she gets her work done. Maybe that’s enough for the company - especially considering how long she’s worked for them. Also, there are companies or departments with unsteady workflows that expect people to keep themselves occupied during slow times so, when things speed up, they have ample trained help available. Not knowing her job or industry, I can only guess this could be part of the thinking.

But I’m also curious whether this is accepted practice for everyone in her department or only this one woman? If it’s only this one woman and she makes it obvious, that would be horrible for morale and show there’s a management problem that needs to be addressed. Otherwise, if this is accepted behavior for anyone, then it’s ok.

Three months off with no leave: As for being allowed to call in sick every day during a tough time, without knowing more I’d say this may be a reflection of a very understanding company with informal policies and room for special arrangements. But if this company requires others to follow strict rules and only makes exceptions for this one woman without good reason, then there’s clearly a real management problem here that’s bigger than just the decisions surrounding this one person. (I kind of doubt that’s the story here.)

What you didn’t tell us is whether you work with her or you’ve simply heard about her work habits. If you actually work with her and are not being treated fairly yourself, then you might want to speak with your supervisor. But please know you’d be most effective if you don't make the discussion about her, since you don’t know what might be behind her “special” and unequal treatment. The real issue is: How can you make the job better for yourself? Is there something you need that you aren’t getting? Keep the discussion focused on you and stay away from what an employer would see as “sour grapes” since that would probably come back to bite you in the end.

But if you don’t work there and are only hearing about this, my guess is that even though it seems she’s getting away with something, in actuality, she may be within the bounds of acceptable behavior in her particular company.

This reminds me of a woman I worked with who always seemed to be on the phone or talking to someone in her office about personal matters. She also came in late almost every morning. It looked like she was getting away with murder just because the boss liked her and she knew how to get around him. But the more I found out, I realized she was getting a lot of quality work done – faster than most - and her boss understood this and let her do things her own way. As far as I’m concerned, as long as the work is getting done and the company is satisfied, a good boss (and there are plenty out there) shows flexibility where possible.

For me it’s mostly about perspective. We can never know what another person is going through until we walk in their shoes. If someone has a job that cuts her some slack but it doesn’t take away from me at all, then why should I worry about how she’s being treated? If I like her, I should be happy for her. If I don’t like her, well… then I think there’s more going on with my feelings than with her work habits.

Best advice is not to worry about what she is or isn’t doing and focus on improving your own job conditions if you aren’t getting everything you deserve! If she weren’t serving the company in some way – no matter what – she wouldn’t be there. That’s how business works – management makes room for certain quirks as long as they get what they need.

Of course, we don’t really have enough details to know what the actual story is… but if what she says is true and the real explanation turns out simply to be that - a la Sally Fields - they really like her, then the company might very well be cutting her some extra slack. So what? It happens. After all those years, she’s probably earned it. And if this bugs other employees she works with, their most effective “revenge” would be to focus their energies on getting the company to like them too!

Hope that helps a little, Diane.

Susan Ireland’s Two Cents
Job Lounger, do you have a question? Email (joblounge@aol.com) it to me and I’ll post your question and an expert’s answer here in The Job Lounge.

Fired for Personal Use of Internet

Question
I was recently fired from my job for using the internet for non-work related activities, after being warned more than once. When I go to look for another job, do I include my firing on my resume, and how do I disclose this to the potential employer in an interview?
--Fired and Off-line

Answer
by Dan Schawbel, Personal Branding Spokesman

Interviews are times when individuals are viewed on set criteria. A hiring manager’s perception of a candidate is either their ticket to a position or to a failed attempt at one. Candidates are judged today based on their Personal Brand, which by definition means “an individual’s total perceived value, relative to competitors, as viewed by their audience.” Basically, employers are looking for a complete package (i.e., Personal Brand) and compare one candidate’s Personal Brand to the Personal Brands of others who are applying for the same position.

Saying this, I believe that any direct mention of something negative impacting a Personal Brand will devalue the candidate and lower his or her total perceived value compared to others competing for the same job. After an interview, when a negative instance is revealed, such as in the scenario in the question above, the hiring manager will always think of this negative aspect when they think or view the candidate associated with the instance.

If you don’t reveal that you were fired for using the internet for non-work related activities, the company you are interviewing with could find the details out if or when they call for a reference from your previous employer. The only way around this is to either be upfront or just plain lucky!

If you’re upfront, you will tell the hiring manager directly that you were let go from your last position because of your conduct and the prospective employer will either take you out of the applicant pool or keep you in because he or she values your honesty. Most likely you will be taken out of the pool because competition is steep, and it’s very easy for them to find a replacement.

However, if you don’t tell them about this negative circumstance and you’re lucky, they won’t call your last employer for a reference. Or, if they do call your former employer, he or she will not divulge the details of why you were fired.

My advice would be the latter. Do not put on your resume the reason your job was terminated and only explain in the interview what happened if the question, “Why did you decide to switch jobs?” is raised. No matter what you decide, your Personal Brand has been tarnished and you must seek new ways to rebuild it.

Building a Personal Brand can be as challenging as building a corporate brand. I have been one of the pioneers of this concept for quite some time now, helping individuals discover, create and maintain their brands over time. Gain a Competitive Edge by Establishing a Personal Brand and Personal Branding, The Future of Recruitment are two articles I wrote that might help you recover from this incident.

It’s all about storytelling. After getting fired from a previous position, try doing some community service or some other community building activity to raise your morale and others’ perception of you. You want to focus on activities that will help balance your misfortune, so that if you are asked about why you left your previous job, you can explain what happened and then move on in the conversation to talk about constructive activities you’ve been doing since that time.

My final recommendation is to start brainstorming and strategizing how you can strengthen your brand and how you can communicate your redesigned brand to your audience (hiring managers).

Susan Ireland’s Two Cents
Fired and Off-line, you’re not alone. Non-work related Internet use on the job is prevalent, as indicated by the following statistics found in Who’s Reading Your Email by Paul H.

• Non-work related Internet surfing results in up to a 40% loss in productivity each year at American businesses. (Gartner Group)
• 85.6% of employees use office e-mail for personal reasons. (NFO Worldwide)
• 70% of all web traffic to Internet pornography sites occurs during the work hours of 9am-5pm. (Sex Tracker)
• 92% of online stock trading occurs from the workplace during work hours. (Business Week)
• 30 to 40% of Internet use in the workplace is not related to business. (IDC Research)
• 24% of American workers admit to shopping online while at work. (IDC Research)

It’s clear that employers don’t like personal Internet use on the job so I’m afraid employees need to resist the temptation. I wish you success in this area on your next job.

Susan Ireland’s Two Cents
Job Lounger, do you have a question? Email (joblounge@aol.com) it to me and I’ll post your question and an expert’s answer here in The Job Lounge.

Answer This!

Question
I share a cubicle with a co-worker who’s constantly surfing online while doing his work. He has a big monitor so he can have a few windows open at the same time.

Now, I’m pretty good at multi-tasking so I sort of get that he can work and play at the same time. But it irks me because it feels unfair, like he’s cheating. It’s against company policy to use our computers for non-work related activities so he’s definitely breaking the rules. On the other hand, he gets his work done on time so why should it matter?

Well, here’s why it bothers me: The sites he goes to are dating and sex sites. Not exactly porn (at least I haven’t seen any of that on his screen). But it’s definitely guy-looking-for-girl stuff, including emails to his Match.com prospects.

What do you think? Should it bother me? Should I say something, do something? Or just let it go?
--“Ms. Irked”